Every spring in Colorado, something truly miraculous happens. No, not the beauty of a Colorado springtime day when nature springs alive after a long winter’s nap — it’s far grander. It’s Sine Die time, baby. Pronounced “SIGH-nee DYE” (Rhymes with “tiny pie.” It also sounds like what your wallet does every time the legislature gavels in), this is Latin for “without a day,” meaning the legislative session is finally, mercifully, over. No more bills. No more hearings. No more Democratic committee chairs auditioning for MSNBC with their grandstanding.
For 120 grueling days, the Colorado General Assembly roams the Capitol like a caffeinated pack of bureaucratic wolves (imported from Canada at an astronomical cost), armed with recycled social justice manifestos and a burning desire to micromanage your life while signaling their extreme virtue to the Gang of Four. No Coloradan is safe — not your gas stove, not your wallet, not even your dog’s ability to get quality vet care without a damn intern showing up with a stethoscope.
It’s like a seasonal allergy to socialism: it flares up in January, reaches full progressive inflammation by March, and finally wheezes its last breath sometime in May with a stack of half-read bills and a bloated budget. Congratulations, Colorado — you can mark yourself safe from another round of “guess what they banned this week?”
It. Is. Finished. Thank God, too, because the Colorado General Assembly continues to whittle away at the very rights He gave you. For we nerds who watch the socialist/marxist machinations of the body that operates under the gold dome, this session seemed particularly long. Particularly harsh. Particularly ominous.
This is what you get when you give total rule to the Democratic party – the most extreme lefties have taken the starring roles and pragmatism and common sense have been stuffed in a historical closet somewhere in the basement of the gilded building at Broadway and Colfax. Divided government is good government, but you won’t find that at Colorado’s state capitol.
Please forgive me. I have spent several paragraphs wringing my hands and gnashing my teeth. It’s cathartic, but not constructive. Let’s get to my analysis of the damage done in the 2025 Legislative Session by this decidedly liberal body.
The Budget – JBC Gymnastics
Facing a $1.2 billion shortfall, our intrepid lawmakers embarked on a journey of creative accounting and selective austerity, all while managing to increase overall spending. It’s like watching someone on a diet justify eating an entire cake because they used low-fat frosting.
The Joint Budget Committee (JBC) slashed funding for transportation projects, local governments, and a plethora of social programs, including support for food banks. Yet, in a twist of fiscal irony (and statutory mandate), they managed to increase K-12 education funding by $150 million and higher education by $38.4 million . Meanwhile, Medicaid costs continued their relentless climb, driven by long-term care expenses for an aging population, with the state allocating a 1.6% increase to provider rates—effectively a pay cut when adjusted for inflation. (Source Source Source Source Source)
Despite the needed budgetary bloodletting (they could cut way-more if they really put their back into it), the total spending plan ballooned to $43.9 billion, a 3.6% increase over the previous year . This feat was achieved through a series of one-time fund transfers and accounting maneuvers that would make Enron’s accountants blush. However, these temporary fixes are just that—temporary. With forecasts predicting an even larger shortfall next year, lawmakers are bracing for deeper cuts and more painful decisions. (Source Source)
The Bills – What’s Left of Your Liberty
The Good News: There was no money, so the Legislature couldn’t brew up a bunch of big-gub’mint programs.
The Bad News: When there’s no money for programs, they come for your freedom. After all – each legislator has five bills (x100 legislators – the math is easy) burning a hole in their pocket and legislators gotta legislate.
📊 By the Numbers: Government Gone Wild
Bills Introduced: According to LegiScan, a staggering 733 measures (Bills and resolutions) were introduced during the 2025 regular session. That’s more than six bills per day, every day, for the entire 120-day session.
How much of this tripe actually becomes law won’t be known until the official “Digest of Bills” is published later this summer.
Now, it’s time to harken back to my 40-year radio career and channel my inner Casey Kasem. Guys and gals, it’s time for…
🔥🎙️ The Hot Rockin’, Flame-Throwin’, Fire-Spittin’ Colorado Legislature Countdown: The Top 10 Freedom-Tramplin’, Liberty-Killin’ Bills of 2025 🚨🗽
#10. HB25-1005 – Tax Incentive for Film Festivals
What the Bill Does:
- Creates state income tax credits for film festival expenses incurred by large “global” festivals and smaller Colorado-based ones, starting in 2027.
- Allocates up to $4 million annually (scaling to $5 million, then back to $3 million) for these big-shot festivals to relocate and set up shop in Colorado, with an additional $500,000 set aside for small local ones.
- Requires bean-counting by CPAs to verify the expenses for these tax credits and mandates bureaucratic oversight from multiple state offices to approve and manage the credits.
Why It Sucks:
Because apparently, “limited government” now includes writing love letters to Hollywood with your tax dollars. This bill is a masterclass in corporate welfare disguised as “economic development.” Instead of fixing roads or bolstering law enforcement, we’re giving red-carpet handouts to elite media outfits so they can bring their champagne-soaked galas to Colorado.
Oh, and if you’re a small local fest? Congrats—you get the leftover lint from the budget while the global behemoths walk off with the lion’s share. Nothing screams “fiscal conservatism” like letting unelected office drones play favorites with millions in public money to court narcissistic celebrities who think “Main Street” is a vegan wine bar in Aspen. This ain’t governance—it’s taxpayer-funded groupie work.
#9. SB25-201 – Require Age Checks for Online Sexual Materials
Thankfully, it didn’t pass. All the bills in my countdown didn’t pass – again, thankfully. But the point is this: A mentality exists to introduce this kind of stuff. Be aware and alert. They’ll try to introduce this stuff again.
What the Bill Would Have Done:
- Requires porn and explicit content websites to implement “reasonable age verification” methods for users in Colorado starting July 1, 2026.
- Mandates non-identity-based age checks and annual third-party audits, with penalties for failing to block underage access.
- Demands destruction of personal data used in age checks and compliance with the “Colorado Privacy Act,” while carving out exceptions for news and public interest content.
Why It Would Have Sucked:
Sure, it’s dressed up in “save the children” drag, but this bill’s a privacy-invading wolf in Puritan sheep’s clothing. I get it. It’s for the children. But why can’t we defend the 1st Amendment with the same voracity we defend the 2nd?! Let’s adopt a shall not be infringed mentality for the entire Bill of Rights! SB25-201 would have shoved private companies into the role of morality police, with the state breathing down their necks to stop teenagers from seeing boobs on the internet—as if that ship hasn’t already sailed straight into their TikTok feeds.
Worse, it opens the door for centralized censorship creep. Once they get the keys to block porn, what’s next—guns? political speech? Backyard BBQ forums with too much red meat? And don’t buy the “we won’t know your name” nonsense—if the government’s involved, your data’s as safe as a steak at a vegan potluck. This bill tramples on adults’ rights, slaps duct tape on the First Amendment, and calls it progress. It’s moral panic, not public policy.
#8. HB25-1291 – Transportation Network Company Consumer Protection
This one passed, but it was HIGHLY watered down – or Uber would have bailed on Colorado! Again, the important thing to fight is the mentality that creates this sort of overreach to begin with!
As Introduced, What the Bill Would Have Done:
- Mandates criminal background checks every 6 months for rideshare drivers, plus biometric verification (fingerprints, facial scans, or retina scans) before each ride to prove they’re not some Uber-impersonating boogeyman.
- Requires constant audio and video recording during rides, with the option to opt out, and demands drivers follow a book of new policies or face deactivation.
- **Allows anyone “injured” by a driver or company—including from alleged bias or bad ratings—to sue in civil court, voids certain contracts, and labels a bunch of platform behavior as “deceptive trade practices.”
Why It Sucks:
This thing turns every Uber driver into a walking GDPR compliance form strapped to a dashcam. Let’s be clear—safety’s important, but this bill isn’t about safety; it’s about kneecapping the gig economy with a sledgehammer made of progressive paranoia and nanny-state overkill. Mandatory biometric surveillance? Constant recording? What’s next, mandatory rectal thermometers to verify driver body temperature before each pickup?
This is less about protecting passengers and more about turning rideshares into regulated state subsidiaries, all while opening the litigation floodgates. Trial lawyers are popping champagne, but the rest of us are left wondering if anyone in the Capitol has actually used a rideshare without getting lost in Denver’s downtown detour hell. This isn’t regulation—it’s job-killing busywork disguised as virtue.
#7. SB25-086 – Protections for Users of Social Media
This POS passed. Thank God the Guv vetoed this – sadly, I agreed with Guv’s veto more than I did the actions of many Republicans who supported this. The legislature tried to override the Guv’s veto. Thankfully, several R’s came to their senses and sided with the Guv. This was another attack on the 1st Amendment. I know – it’s for the children – but again, the entire Bill of Rights should get a shall not be infringed Amen.
What the Bill Tried to Do:
- Forces social media companies to track, report, and hand over massive amounts of user data, especially regarding minors—like who’s on the platform, what they’re doing, and when they’re doing it.
- Mandates that platforms publicly post and constantly update their content policies, plus track and report “subject uses” like drug sales, sex trafficking, and even late-night scrolling by minors.
- Requires platforms to remove users who break those policies within tight deadlines, comply with law enforcement requests within 72 hours, and keep a hotline open for cops 24/7.
Why It Would Have Sucked (if it were not for the Guv’s veto stamp):
This bill is a statist fever dream draped in the guise of “protecting kids.” It turns every social media platform into a deputized snitch squad for the Colorado Attorney General, with the added bonus of turning parents into passive spectators in the surveillance Olympics. The state wants to snoop on your kid’s scrolling habits like it’s the Cold War all over again, complete with pop-up warnings and Orwellian “minor safety tools.”
Never mind the Constitution—this thing bulldozes through freedom of speech, privacy, and due process like a toddler through a Lego set. And the cherry on top? It burdens companies with vague rules, arbitrary enforcement, and enough bureaucratic red tape to strangle a Silicon Valley server farm. The bill might as well be titled “The Social Media Compliance Act of 1984.”
#6. HB25-1161 – Labeling Gas-Fueled Stoves
What the Bill Does:
- Requires all new gas stoves sold in Colorado retail stores to have a warning label saying “UNDERSTAND THE AIR QUALITY IMPLICATIONS OF HAVING AN INDOOR GAS STOVE,” complete with a QR code linking to a government website.
- Mandates online retailers selling gas stoves in Colorado to post that same warning prominently on the product page.
- Makes failure to comply a “deceptive trade practice”, opening the door to fines, lawsuits, and bureaucratic harassment.
Why It Sucks:
Because this is what happens when virtue signaling and nanny statism collide at a Whole Foods. Apparently, the gas stove—the humble, bacon-sizzling, pasta-boiling workhorse of American kitchens—is now Public Enemy #1. Instead of tackling real environmental issues, Colorado’s bureaucrats decided the hill to die on was your stovetop. They’ve turned appliance sales into a guilt trip and made retailers the hall monitors of climate guilt.
And don’t think this ends with a sticker—this is a warning shot for a future ban. It’s the green cult’s slow-boil strategy: today, it’s labels; tomorrow, it’s your stove being illegal unless it runs on rainbows and Greta Thunberg’s tears. Welcome to the era of kitchen woke-washing.
#5. SB25-014 – Protecting the Freedom to Marry
What the Bill Does:
- Repeals Colorado’s now-defunct ban on same-sex marriage, striking out the old language that limited marriage to “one man and one woman.”
- Updates legal definitions so “marriage” now means a union between “two individuals” instead of heterosexual-specific language.
- Scrubs civil union law references that reinforced the traditional marriage definition, aligning all marriage and civil union statutes with gender-neutral language.
Why It Sucks:
Because it’s a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist—unless you count pandering as a policy emergency. The Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationwide in 2015, and yet here we are, ten years later, with Colorado lawmakers acting like they just cracked the Da Vinci Code.
This isn’t about law—it’s about left-wing lawmakers needing a press release and another chance to wave the rainbow flag while ignoring things like inflation, fentanyl, and carjackings. It’s peak political theater: passing a bill to repeal a law already void, all so they can preen on Twitter and pretend they’re civil rights pioneers. Meanwhile, the roads still suck, the schools are indoctrination camps with Chromebooks, and taxpayers get to fund this legislative fan fiction.
#4. SB25-005 – Worker Protection Collective Bargaining
What the Bill Does:
- Eliminates the requirement for a second employee election to approve union security clauses (i.e., requiring union membership or dues as a condition of employment) in collective bargaining agreements.
- Scraps multiple procedural safeguards that gave employees the right to demand elections or challenge union dominance, including the right to anonymously petition for an opt-out vote.
- Reduces state oversight and enforcement costs, shaving a minuscule $20,246 from the Department of Labor and Employment budget, which is about the cost of three catered DEI training seminars.
Why It Sucks:
Because it’s a Trojan horse for forced unionism, plain and simple. This bill gives labor unions carte blanche to shove mandatory dues down workers’ throats without even pretending to ask for consent. It kills the second election—a check and balance meant to ensure union bosses aren’t running the show like it’s 1950s Chicago.
Now, if you get swept into a union shop, tough luck: your paycheck becomes their political war chest whether you like it or not. And the kicker? They call this “streamlining”—which is rich, because it’s really just steamrolling individual rights so unions can keep their dues gravy train rolling straight to the DNC. This isn’t labor policy—it’s legalized extortion with a government stamp.
The Guv has signaled he may veto this bill. It’s pretty sad when Jared Polis is the most conservative, statewide elected official in the State of Colorado. Chew on that thought for a few minutes.
#3. SB25-276 – Protect Civil Rights Immigration Status
What the Bill Does:
- Prohibits state and local agencies from cooperating with federal immigration enforcement by restricting the sharing of personal information unless legally required and banning detention based on ICE detainers.
- Blocks schools, libraries, and health care providers from collecting or disclosing immigration status, birth country, or related documents—unless federally required—and slaps them with fines for noncompliance.
- Expands access to legal aid for illegal immigrants by routing penalties from privacy violations into Colorado’s “Immigration Legal Defense Fund,” because apparently, “sanctuary state” wasn’t quite sanctimonious enough.
Why It Sucks:
This bill isn’t about protecting civil rights—it’s about neutering law enforcement and turning every public institution into a Fort Knox for illegal aliens. It gives ICE the middle finger, tells jails to turn a blind eye to detainers, and turns your local librarian into a sworn protector of passport (or lack thereof) secrets.
And the cherry on top? If someone breaks these sanctuary-style rules, the fine goes into a pot to pay lawyers for people here illegally. That’s right—Colorado taxpayers are now subsidizing defense attorneys for non-citizens while veterans and small business owners get buried in red tape. It’s not governance—it’s ideological cosplay with your tax dollars. The state might as well hang a sign at the border: “Break federal law, and we’ll fund your legal team, too!”
#2. HB25-1312 – Legal Protections for Transgender Individuals
What the Bill Does:
- Codifies legal protections for transgender individuals in child custody disputes, school policies, public forms, anti-discrimination laws, and state-issued documents—like allowing three gender changes on IDs without a court order.
- Bans Colorado courts from enforcing out-of-state laws that penalize parents for allowing their child to receive gender-affirming care.
- Forces public entities and schools to adopt chosen name and gender-neutral dress policies, and redefines misgendering and deadnaming as discriminatory acts in public accommodations.
Why It Sucks:
Because it equated Bible based parenting to “coercive control.” (I can hear some of you sniveling now – “That was amended out!” That’s not the point – the point is they put it in the bill to begin with. That is what we must fight!)
Because it turns the entire machinery of state bureaucracy—from courts to schools to license offices—into a gender-ideology enforcement squad. This bill practically mandates that biological reality be erased from every public interaction, all in the name of “inclusivity.” You can’t discipline your kid for a dress code violation unless their outfit fits into a government-approved, gender-neutral guideline. You can’t refer to someone by their legal name on a form without possibly violating civil rights law.
And your local judge? Now required to treat misgendering like it’s domestic terrorism when deciding who gets the kids. The real kicker? Three gender changes on a license, but God forbid you try to renew your tabs late without getting hit with a fine. This isn’t justice—it’s a legislative ideological drag show, where social media trends get more legal protection than free speech or parental rights.
#1. SB25-003 – Semiautomatic Firearms & Rapid-Fire Devices
You guessed it, guys and gals (sorry if I misgendered or deadnamed – call the police), the bill at the top of the charts is a bureaucratic fever dream wrapped in a gun-grabbing manifesto. Colorado lawmakers didn’t just dip their toes into Second Amendment infringement—they swan-dived into the deep end with cinder blocks strapped to their ankles.
What the Bill Does:
- Bans the manufacture, sale, transfer, and purchase of most semiautomatic rifles, shotguns, and gas-operated handguns with detachable magazines, unless you’re law enforcement, military, a museum, or in a very narrow list of exceptions.
- Creates a mandatory training regime with government-issued “Firearms Safety Course Eligibility Cards” and two-tiered safety courses (4 hours basic, 12 hours extended), complete with background checks, bureaucratic paperwork, and a state-run database to track it all.
- Criminalizes possession and transfer of “rapid-fire devices” and includes violations under dangerous weapons laws, stacking penalties and embedding the whole mess deep into the criminal code.
Why It Sucks:
Because it’s a full-on constitutional mugging with a side of nanny-state power fantasy. This bill doesn’t target criminals—it targets law-abiding gun owners and burdens them with red tape thicker than a Biden speechwriter’s thesaurus. Want to buy a semiauto? Hope you’ve got time for Orwellian paperwork, invasive background checks from third-party data miners, and some overpriced training run by a sheriff-blessed instructor.
And if you don’t jump through every flaming hoop they lit with virtue signaling gas? Boom—misdemeanor or felony, depending on how many times you offend the gun control gods. They say it’s for public safety, but this is legislative LARPing with your rights as collateral damage. It’s not lawmaking—it’s ideological drag theater with a badge and a baton.
🧂 Final Thoughts: A Recipe for Disaster
The 2025 Colorado legislative session was a masterclass in how to erode personal freedoms, inflate government overreach, and virtue signal to the progressive base—all while ignoring the principles of small government and individual liberty. If this is the blueprint for the future, it’s time to stock up on canned goods and head for the hills. Preferably the ones in Wyoming.
Stay tuned for the next session, where they’ll probably mandate state-approved thoughts and feelings. Can’t wait.
Sure, I may have missed some. After all, there were 733 to choose from. If I missed one that made your 💩 list, drop it in the comments below.
