The Mile High City just hit a new low in fiscal absurdity, and leading the charge is Mayor Mike “Sanctimony with a Side of Stupidity” Johnston. Let’s be clear—this isn’t governance. This is what happens when you give a performative progressive a checkbook and no adult supervision.
Denver just blew through $356 million on services for illegal immigrants and then casually tossed in another $250,000 to defend it in court. Meanwhile, Johnston stands in front of reporters talking about a $200 million budget hole like he’s the victim of a natural disaster, not the financial arsonist holding the match.
Let’s get one thing straight: Mike doesn’t control school budgets. That’s the job of local school districts. But when 16,000 new migrant students crash the classroom party, who do you think ends up picking up the bill? Spoiler alert—it’s you. Districts are forced to reallocate funds, crowd classrooms, and stretch resources thinner than Johnston’s credibility.
While schools scramble and emergency rooms rack up $49 million in unpaid visits, Denver’s services are collapsing under the weight of misaligned priorities. And the mayor? He’s still acting like this is all part of some grand master plan. Except the only thing masterful here is his ability to dodge accountability like a caffeinated squirrel.
But the damage doesn’t stop at the city limits. Thanks to Johnston’s open-arms-and-empty-wallet approach, every surrounding municipality within 50 miles is now less safe, less stable, and less secure. Why? Because Denver has become the dumping ground, the overflow tank, the “catch-and-release” center of sanctuary lunacy. Smaller towns, already strapped for resources, are now bearing the spillover of a city that treats immigration policy like a student council popularity contest.
And while the budget implodes, Johnston’s cure-all? Furloughs, hiring freezes, and cuts to core services. It’s like trying to fix a sinking ship by rearranging the deck chairs and then firing the crew. The man’s running the city like a Netflix drama—big on optics, short on substance.
Even his defenders are wincing. He had to reverse raises for top execs after trying to sneak through nearly $500,000 in salary bumps. That’s not leadership—it’s grifting with a PR filter. And let’s not forget the cherry on this trainwreck sundae: spending taxpayer money on out-of-town legal counsel to defend Denver’s sanctuary status. Because nothing says “local leadership” like outsourcing your backbone to a D.C. law firm.
Meanwhile, real Denverites are getting shafted. Roads don’t get fixed. Services get cut. And Johnston stands there talking about “investments in vibrancy” while the city’s bleeding like a hemophiliac in a knife fight.
Bottom line? Johnston didn’t just choose “compassion.” He chose chaos. He chose to fund crisis over community, and now the entire region’s footing the bill. If you’re in Colorado and your town’s suddenly dealing with higher crime, overburdened hospitals, and a budget stress fracture—it’s because Denver decided to become the Ellis Island of entitlement with none of the infrastructure to back it up.
So take notes, Colorado. Because what’s happening in Denver isn’t leadership—it’s a cautionary tale wrapped in sanctimony and tied with a ribbon of incompetence. Every city within shouting distance should be working overtime not to be like Mike.
